Sipping the coffee, I received a call from my friend, sharing that she is upset because she broke her favourite tea urn a week back…
As soon as we disconnected the call, I had a thought, ‘how easily we are driven towards the upset conditions…’ However, as usual, My Mindset 2 had its own opinion, ‘Are you kidding jerk? She must have felt bad, after all it was her FAVOURITE and a rare one (expensive too).’ And this time it was right; She must HAVE FELT bad… but the truth is; She is STILL FEELING the same, rather worst…
We often pore the blame of being upset or being in sorrow on the situations, circumstances, people (and their words)… list is quite long! Hey wait, are we befooling ourselves. Telling ourselves that pain is natural and inescapable but what is this sorrow all about.
You might find me a freak here but just quoting an incidence (Kindly ammend it as per your “circumstances”).
You wake up in the morning (Great on time). Ahaa your most liked blue shirt. After having a nice breakfast with a kadak masala chaye, you touch your parent’s feet, take their blessings, a bye bye kissi to your messy looking yet beautiful wife who tells you, ‘You are looking handsome today’ (Hey you are hiding your smile there). On your way TRAFFIC!!! doesn’t bother you… (Lucky you man). Here, you victoriously reach your office on time.
Before you grab your seat and start your day, you get a msg, Mr. Dutta (no personal offence plz) your boss wants to meet you. With your contagious smile and a bright Goooood Morning, greeting you enter his room.
Boss to you: You have not been performing the way I expected.
(You to yourself: This doesn’t go with my day 😳)
Boss: You have still not submitted the report I asked for a week before.
(You: But I did everything else perfectly 😒)
Boss: You need to brush up your time management skills.
(You: Am I useless 😟)
Boss: However, don’t work on that report now. I asked Sharma to do it. He will submit it today.
(You: Sharma, tu to gya 😡… He wants to snatch my position 😤)
When you are leaving from room he calls his P.A. and says send the candidates one by one.
(You: I am getting fired 😵)
Pain in this situation is inexorable, if you dont’t feel it, change your job or get your medical tests done (Jokes apart 😉) But, you exhaust your entire day on that too much productive 2 minutes conversation (claps), Re thinking, Re phrasing and Re understanding it time and again, making sure that we hurt ouselves to the core that the pain is overtaken by sorrow.
However, the morning bliss had created an expectation in your wife’s heart that evening will be better. You reach home, she welcomes you with a loving smile on her glossy lips which you overlooked and ignored. She asks for dinner, you reply with a cold NO (for her it was a rude NO). FYI she made your favourite food and was waiting for you to have her dinner, anyways…
Now, your reaction has given her that mandatory pain which you had in the morning (If you remember, I am sure you do) and alike you she will be Re thinking, Re phrasing and Re understanding it time and again, making sure….. finally the sorrow of not being loved and valued. Thereafter, you will have a non communicated night, pretending to sleep, and enhancing your own set of sorrows.
Day 2; a gloomy one. You wake up late, shirt isn’t ironed properly due to the expected reactions flowing from the other party, no breakfast, you leave in rush shouting a Bye to all (as if its an obligation) and your wife closes the door of your home sweet home with a drop in her eye…. (You know the rest, All the best)
While discussing it out with her next day or next week, both of you mutually come to a conclusion, it all happened because of Mr. Dutta!!!
Is this excuse for our partner or for our ownself?
Did we even realize what happened and why it happened? Do we ever try to realize?
Do we love to be the victim of circumstances and sympathize with ourselves?
Have we ever reflected upon MANY such instances where we created sorrow for ourselves?
Was my friend still in pain for that broken tea urn or she created sorrow out of it?
Pain is certain, I agree but, does sorrow equally holds the strength to a neccessity?
My equation to existence of emotions says NO…
“Pain is inevitable, but Sorrow isn’t”